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Steve Brownlee
I wished to have a look at some light-hearted or humorous story to begin off this week’s Armchair Quarterback, and after scanning a listing of AP tales, I assumed I discovered it:
Elon Musk will, in spite of everything, spend his agreed-upon worth of $44 billion to purchase Twitter.
Geez, I don’t know if I’d pay greater than $40 billion.
However that’s not as humorous a narrative in itself as a lot as my considering that I might ever swim in that sort of cash.
As an alternative, a “actual” sports activities story from Monday afternoon struck me as humorous:
The county prosecutor in Cleveland has opened an investigation right into a walleye event with some “fishy” issues occurring.
It appears there’s video on Twitter — not but Elon Musk’s private property — displaying the event director for the Lake Erie Walleye Path chopping open the profitable catch on Friday and discovering lead weights and ready fish filets inside.
OK, I can see the lead weights, however fish filets — eat these for dinner! As an alternative, put some pet food or cat meals contained in the unnaturally heavy fish, why dontcha?
Now Ohio Division of Pure Sources officers are gathering proof for the native prosecutor.
“I take all crime significantly, together with tried felony theft at a fishing event,” Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Michael O’Malley is quoted as saying. “These people shall be held accountable.”
So I assume making dangerous NFL picks isn’t such against the law in comparison with what these dufuses had been as much as (I needed to look that phrase up on-line a pair alternative ways to even get near spelling it the proper method):
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At present, 8:15 p.m.
Indianapolis at Denver — Two groups on a downward spiral, and I hear that Denver’s dynamic operating again Javonte Williams is out for the season. However I additionally heard that Indy’s high again Jonathan Taylor is dinged up. Simply to make it straightforward, I’ll merely go for the house crew. Broncos, 24-17.
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Sunday, 9:30 a.m.
New York Giants at Inexperienced Bay — One thing tells me a veteran crew will higher deal with all of the modifications to routine when making a visit throughout the pond and taking part in at fairly an odd time.
Don’t overlook to set your alarm! Packers, 33-23.
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Sunday, 1 p.m.
Pittsburgh at Buffalo — Buffalo has performed two dangerous first halves in a row, so I see an emphasis on getting off to a quick begin. Payments, 34-20.
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Los Angeles Chargers at Cleveland — You’ve at all times bought to be cautious when a West Coast crew is taking part in what’s to them a ten a.m. sport throughout the nation. However I simply assume this L.A. crew is an excessive amount of for a city now greatest recognized for its crooked fishing tournaments. Chargers, 27-24.
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Houston at Jacksonville — The Texans aren’t getting blown out, evidenced by their solely being outscored by 20 factors regardless of a paltry 0-3-1 document, the worst within the NFL. However they aren’t profitable, both. Jaguars, 26-22.
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Chicago at Minnesota — Strolling in Military boots is okay when it’s muddy within the woods, however not if you’re operating on somebody’s garden subsequent to world-class athletes sporting regardless of the newest in UnderArmour and Nike athletic put on is. That’s the Bears sporting the boots, by the best way. Vikings, 30-17.
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Detroit at New England — They higher be careful or they’re going to alter the title of the crew to “Etroit” Lions for the reason that “D” has apparently been misplaced someplace alongside Woodward Avenue.
It’s too dangerous because the 1-3 Lions have the No. 1 scoring offense within the league — 11 factors higher than even Kansas Metropolis — however are thirty second in factors allowed, a whopping 26 factors worse than all others.
Taking a look at it extra intently, eight NFL groups have given up lower than half as many factors as “Etroit”s 141, and a few others are half some extent away from that distinction.
If anybody can benefit from a crew like this, I might assume it’s Invoice Belichick in New England. Patriots, 34-28.
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Seattle at New Orleans — I’ll purchase the Kool-Help after Seattle got here to Detroit and gained, contemplating the mess the Saints look to be in. Seahawks, 28-24.
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Miami at New York Jets — This New York outfit has been up and down, whereas the Dolphins look down with Tua Tagovailoa nonetheless out together with his concussion(s). Jets, 23-19.
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Atlanta at Tampa Bay — I’ve to say I’m extra impressed with Tampa’s 10-point loss to KC on Sunday than I’m with the Falcons’ 3-point win towards Cleveland. Buccaneers, 21-17.
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Tennessee at Washington — Regardless of Houston having the worst document within the league, I’d put the 1-3 Commanders atop my listing of the worst precise groups. Titans, 27-19.
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Sunday, 4 p.m.
San Francisco at Carolina — Entice sport alert! On paper, the 49ers are SO far forward of Carolina, however every time Baker Mayfield will get backed in a nook, he appears to play his greatest. Nevertheless, San Fran’s ball-control sport would possibly work right here, even coming off a brief week on the street. 49ers, 23-16.
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Philadelphia at Arizona — It’s a battle of operating quarterbacks. The distinction is that whereas Cardinals QB Kyler Murray runs for his life within the backfield, Philly’s Jalen Hurts runs by way of and round D-linemen and linebackers for enormous good points downfield. Eagles, 37-24.
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Dallas at Los Angeles Rams — Apparently the Rams had been uncovered Monday night time as having no weapons and no offensive line. Cowboys, 28-18.
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Sunday, 8:20 p.m.
Cincinnati at Baltimore — I’ll agree that Lamar Jackson is essentially the most dynamic, actually the most effective QB within the league proper now. However with solely Detroit protecting the Ravens’ protection from doing whole backside dwelling, Cincy’s Joe Burrow would possibly keep upright this time round. Bengals, 32-27.
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Monday, 8:15 p.m.
Las Vegas at Kansas Metropolis — Not betting towards the No. 2 offense towards any sort of Raiders protection. Chiefs, 33-26.
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Final week — 11-5, 69 p.c (first profitable week this season). Season — 32-31-1, 51 p.c.
Steve Brownlee may be reached at 906-228-2500, ext. 252. His e mail handle is sbrownlee@miningjournal.internet.
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